I wrote yesterday! Poor Kyle was still pretty tired from being sick the night before, so I wrote for a while as he rested. It felt great...eventually. I guess my third blog entry is the best time to document that I am a complete freak when it comes to self-confidence and writing. Ironically, I'm a pretty confident person about the rest of my life, but for some reason I constantly doubt myself and my ability when I'm writing. So it usually takes me a few minutes of forcing myself to keep at it, trying to ignore that pesky critical inner voice (as Stuart Smalley would say) which is telling me I suck and I'm wasting my time because I'll never be able to write well.
If I can push through those initial painful minutes, however, I usually get absorbed with the story and the challenge of manipulating the words so that they communicate what I can see in my head. It's like a puzzle--trying to put it all together. Of course it's a puzzle with lots of extra unnecessary pieces that I have to identify and weed out and there are always tons of missing pieces that I have to try to find. I enjoy the process of figuring out how to make it work, though. It's really satisfying. But, boy, is it tough at the beginning. Every time.
But I did make some progress with the novel. Yay! Unfortunately I also missed my LBWO (lower body work out). I didn't want to take Kyle to the gym child care since he'd been sick, and I ran out of time to do it at home. I think it's going to be a big challenge to get in both exercise and writing every day. Most of my time is spent taking care of the kids and the house. I really have to focus and plan and organize to fit the other stuff in. I was able to write regularly before I started exercising every day. But once I made the commitment to get healthy and make exercise a priority, the writing kind of fell by the wayside.
Now I want to do both. They are both SO good for me.
I don't want to give up either one.
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