First of all I want to thank parttimemom and wyo for their great comments on my Roller Coasting entry. If this novel isn't universally adored (as if), or even published that doesn't mean my dream is dead. I can always try again. And I didn't start writing it with the goal of publication, anyway. I started the novel because I love getting completely immersed in a story. But that experience has always been as a reader. I wanted to see if I could get swept away by a story that I created myself.
Which brings me to wyo's point of enjoying the process. She is so right. The end result is only a tiny part of any goal. It's what you had to do to get to that point that is really important. And maybe one of the reasons I've been so frustrated lately, is that I haven't been enjoying the process as much as I did in the beginning. I was so caught up in fear and self-doubt and the pressure to be "good" that I couldn't get to that place where the story picks up and carries me along. I was trying to force it. Not nearly as enjoyable.
I started a new section the day before yesterday and it felt SO great. I'm getting to a really exciting part of the story and it's a kick (as my dad would say) seeing/creating what's going to come next. I'm back with some really interesting characters too. They are no one I'd like to know, but they are so much fun to write about. I can't believe some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths!
The story is carrying me along again and it's such a rush!