Why do we fear other people?
Don’t we long for that connection?
Being part of a tribe?
Being a part of something?
Isn’t it interesting and amazing and phenomenal to meet someone who grew up in such different circumstances, and who came from such a different background, with different influences, and after meeting this person who is so different from us, then to find out that we have something in common with them? That we are more alike than different?
What could be better than that?
It’s all about empathy.
Trying to understand someone else’s point of view.
Why do they think what they think? Why are they the way that they are? Is there something in their being that we share?
We are all one.
Meeting and knowing and loving those whose backgrounds and experiences are different.
And understanding them. Seeing ourselves in them.
What could be more powerful than that?
It’s love. It’s connection. It’s what it means to be human.
We are the same.
We hurt. We bleed. We love. We want. We hunger. We rejoice.
When things go wrong for us, we so wish that it was all different and better.
We might want to blame someone else for that struggle. It’s quick and easy to blame someone else. It validates our pain.
But does it heal our pain? Does it make things better?
When things go wrong and we blame someone else for that wrong, the act of blaming does not make anything better. Our situation is still the same. And maybe we can feel justified in our self-righteousness, because we can think it’s not our fault that everything’s gone to hell. We did everything right. And that “other”, that someone else, screwed us. Messed everything up. It’s their fault. Because of them, everything is wrong. If they were gone—if they were never here, then all would be well.
But would it?
We’d still struggle.
Pain is part of life, as much as we wish it wasn’t. Someone else to blame does not take away pain.
Blame adds to pain.
Look at that other. See them. They are like you in every way that counts. Their background, their experience, their situation might be different. But inside, they are you. There is absolutely nothing to lose by trying to understand someone else: trying to see them as someone like you.
On the contrary. By doing that, you’ll feel a peace and a connection and what’s ultimately beautiful about being human and living this life.
Stop being afraid.
Stop blaming others for the pain.
Be comforted instead.
See yourself in everyone.
Rejoice in that connection.
I’ll say it again.
We are the same.
In every way that counts.