College Application Time: Yikes!!

The early days: when college applications
seemed inconceivable to both of us!

My daughter is applying to colleges.

Eh, no big deal. Normal. Not that exciting. Good, but doesn't really cause a blip when it comes to universal importance.

Okay, maybe you didn't really grasp what I said.

MY DAUGHTER IS APPLYING TO COLLEGES!

Don't you understand what that means? Her departure from her home, my home, is immanent. She is the person who made me a mom. For her whole life and for 17+ years of mine, she has lived here. With me. There are only a handful of people that I've lived 17+ years of my life with. My mom, my dad, my husband, and my daughter. (My sister is younger so I only lived with her for 16 years, and my son is 15 so well, yeah, that's less than 17+.) The point is all of those people are hugely important to me. Big parts of my life. This is a big deal! Soon she'll fly away.

But it's weird. Yes I'm a sap and know I will be sad when she goes, because I've loved being her mom and raising her and having a front row seat, watching her grow up. But I'm also incredibly excited for her. I loved college. It was a highlight of my life. And now she gets to have that experience. It's so great getting to study all of these fascinating subjects, surrounded by people who love to learn. It's also so exciting to be away from home and forging ahead on your own life in a new environment, along with all of these new, interesting people. So I'm thrilled for her and all that's ahead for her. That's all a big positive.

But in the meantime, there are college applications. And decisions coming back. Stressful stuff, for sure!

She applied to one school early, and she finds out whether she'll be accepted, rejected, or deferred from that school in the next few days. I as her mom, am very interested in the outcome. Of course, as her mom, I think it should be a no-brainer from their perspective. They should accept her! Duh! She's awesome!

I'm trying to play it cool, though. (And that's tough since I've never exactly been a cool person!)

So I might have stumbled across an online countdown to when the decisions are released. And I might check it here and there just to see how much more of a wait there is until we know. And then I might mentally chastise myself for checking that online countdown site because, come on, this is just one school. She's applying to lots of them. It shouldn't be this big of a deal: the results of this one application.

But here's the thing. It is a huge deal. Not whether or not she's accepted to this particular school. That is not so important in the grand scheme of things.

But it is the first decision coming back. And it does represent what's about to happen. Maybe she'll be accepted and end up attending this school. Maybe she won't. But one way or another, this time next year she will be in college, away from home, and life will be different.

That's a big deal by any definition.