Meeting the Maasai

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It probably won't surprise you to learn that I was not looking forward to the visit to the Maasai village. Part of that was not knowing what to expect, and part of it was the photo issue I mentioned in earlier entries. It just seemed to me that either they have a spiritual problem with having their photo taken, or they don't. If they don't, why make an issue of it? And if they do, does receiving money really counter-act a spiritual objection?

But I was more uncomfortable about the idea than opposed to it, so when the time came I climbed out of the Land Rover along with the rest of my group to meet the son of the chief. He was dressed traditionally, smiled welcomely, and spoke excellent English. He told us to take all the pictures we wanted--actually we were told that over and over again, and I did end up taking some. Then he led us into the interior of the village.

Okay, here's where I have to go on a little digression. It wasn't really a "village"--it was smaller than that--a group of huts and a cattle pen all belonging to one family. Since one man can have many wives, it ends up being a substantial group of people, but it's not technically called a village. I'd remembered the term being something like "boda", and after spending 30 minutes googling to try to find it, all I could come up with was "enkang" from this link: The Destiny of the Maasai. But the link also says that the Maasai don't have villages, and according to the people we met, they do. They even pointed out their village in a nearby valley. So now I don't know what to think! (Edited to add: The term I couldn't remember is "boma". Thanks, Peggy!)

The huts were surrounded by a wooden fence and arranged in a circle with the cattle pen in the center. After we went inside the fence, a group of Maasai began singing and dancing to welcome us. A couple of people from our group joined them. It was all interesting, but a little awkward and even the Maasai didn't seem completely into the whole thing.

Once the dance was finished, the chief's son told us to divide into groups of two and a Maasai would guide us around. My roommate and I paired up and were met by our guide "Kennedy (I'm guessing that's not his only name). Like the cheif's son, Kennedy spoke great English. In fact most of the young men of the village seemed to speak and understand English (but not the women.)

The tour consisted of Kennedy leading us around the village while the rest of the Maasai, hung back and watched us with serious expressions on their faces. First he showed us a hut being built--a stick frame half-covered by a cow manure mixture that had hardened into the hut's sides. He also took us inside one of the finished huts. It was very dark and very smoky from the small fire that smoldered constantly within. Kennedy told us to take a picture, so I did, but I had no idea what I was shooting since I couldn't really see anything. Then he led us out again, and the tour was basically over.

No one said anything to us, but it became pretty clear that the next thing for us to do was browse around looking at all of the jewelry and other Maasai-made items that had been draped over the fence of the cattle pen. I'm not much of a shopper under the best of circumstances, and didn't really know where to start. My roommate was interested in buying a spear, so she asked Kennedy questions about them, while I circled around the cattle pen trying to find something for my kids.

Before long I'd chosen a beaded bracelet for my daughter, and a necklace with a carved bone pendant for my son (he'd wanted a lion's tooth, and this sort of looked like one), and once I'd paid, I was more than ready to leave. I'm not sure why I was so uncomfortable there and I'm a little ashamed at my reaction. Maybe it's because I'm usually pretty in-tune with what's going on with people--I spend a lot of energy reading others' attitudes and body language. With people so different from me, it was hard to get a handle on what was going on with them. Also, I'm basically an introvert and so trying to interact with people I didn't know much about was difficult. But whatever the reason, I didn't want to linger so I left the huts to wait by the car while the rest of the group finished up with their tours and shopping.

As I often do when I have a little time to myself, I decided to read. So I leaned against one of the Land Rovers and pulled out my Kindle. After a few minutes, the chief's son came up to me and asked me what I was doing. So I showed him the Kindle and the screen with my list of books. The one he zeroed in on was, of all things, the dictionary. The dictionary is one of my favorite Kindle features and I told him about how easy it is to look up words as I read them. He asked me to look up his name, so I did (it wasn't in there), then he left and I returned to my reading.

A couple of minutes later a group of 5 or so young Maasai men came up to me. One of them was holding a small piece of paper that was covered with cramped writing in blue ball-point pen. He told me that he'd been keeping a list of English words and wondered if I would look them up for him in my dictionary.

Now here's when everything changed for me and all my awkwardness and discomfort evaporated. I love words. I love talking about words. It didn't matter that we came from such different places, we had words in common.

But talk about a strange experience! Standing outside on a sunny day near Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania, reading my electronic book, then talking about words with a group of young Maasai men in tribal dress! That's not something that happens every day!

Are you curious about the words they wanted me to look up? I was certainly surprised by them. Here are the ones I can remember:

trajectory
dove-tail
spawned
affinity
tailor made

Not exactly what you'd expect. Where did the list come from? I don't know. If I had to guess I'd say they were words they'd come across while learning English. They certainly spoke it well, and clearly were also learning to read and write English. But I loved how much they wanted to understand. I often substitute teach at the local high school and these young Maasai were around the same age as the kids I sub. I can't imagine American teenagers being so eager to expand their vocabulary that they'd carry around a list of words they didn't know, and then approach a foreign, almost 40-year-old woman and ask her to help them learn. But these guys did just that.

We had to leave before I was able to look up everything on their list, but they were very appreciative and it certainly put the whole encounter in a new light for me and gave me lots to think about.

You expect to visit people who live without all the modern conveniences we take for granted and either think, "Wow, I'm so thankful for what I have," or maybe, "Gee, I wish I could live more simply." After visiting the Maasai, I am thankful for all I have. If I had to list everything in my life that I probably don't appreciate enough, I never would have considered the dictionary, but it really is a gift. When I want to know the meaning of a word, I just look it up: online, on my Kindle, or even using my old-fashioned, hard-bound American Heritage Collegiate Dictionary. Those young Maasai men didn't have any of those options. And the fact that they were so interested in learning the meanings of words--interested enough for the chief's son to know about it and bring them to me so they could take advantage of my Kindle and its dictionary, absolutely fascinates me. It was one of those rare moments in life that is both surprising and incredibly touching. I still smile to think about it.

I'm so glad I was able to connect with those Maasai young men over words, and I'm very impressed with their desire to learn and the way they took the initiative to find out what they wanted to know. I hadn't been very enthusiastic about visiting the Maasai, but it turned out to be one of the highlights of my trip to Tanzania.

Home Again

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Hello, everyone!

After 30.5 hours of flying, airport time, and driving I arrived home again last night. It is great to be back with my kids and husband, but I can't help feeling somewhat wistful that my Tanzanian adventure is over. It couldn't have been better (with the exception of the migraine at the beginning, of course), and I would do it again in a second! My head is spinning with the memories of everything I experienced.

Soon I will start going through the 2000+ pictures I took throughout the 11 days, and then I will be able to share some of those images with you (no where near 2000, I promise!).

And very soon, later today I hope, I will write a detailed description of my encounter with the Maasai.

But right now, I need to respond to an oh-so-familiar request: "I'm hungry".

It's been over two weeks--I hope I still remember how to make breakfast!

Making Connections

I have even less time this morning than usual, so I'm going to make this brief. We leave in 48 minutes for our last day on safari. We stayed near Lake Manyara last night and saw lots more great animals. My favorites were the black-faced monkeys. They are so cute and a group of them, including several babies, played, foraged, etc. so close to where we were parked watching them. Once again I probably took way too many pictures, but it's hard to stop photographing so many great moments!

But the highlight by far was the trip to the Maasai village. I'm not going to say much about it right now because I just don't have enough time to adequately describe what happened, but I ended up making a connection with some people with such a different life from the one I lead, and it was quite an incredible feeling. It didn't happen during the official tour, but afterward. Nice tease, huh? I will tell you all about it soon, I promise!

I think making connections is so important not only in real life, but in storytelling as well. I wrote something here about my experiences as a first-timer to Tanzania that all fit together really well. I don't mean to brag, other writers I know can relate--sometimes what you are doing all connects perfectly and it's so exciting when it does.
That's something else, however, that I'll have to tell you more about in a future entry, because we leave in 1/2 an hour for Tarangire National Park (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarangire_National_Park) and I still need to grab some breakfast.

More soon!

Go warthogs!

I'm up early this morning. I haven't been sleeping very well on this trip. I think it's because I always have so much swirling around in my head, from all I've seen, and it's keeping me awake. Also, we aren't getting a lot of exercise. Since we're spending our days driving and you can't go out for a run, say, once you get to the lodge. At pretty much every place we've stayed there is the potential to see animals right on the hotel grounds. After dark you're supposed to have someone from the hotel escort you to your room in case you meet anything threatening. But I'm not super tired, so I'm not worrying about it.

Yesterday, was my favorite day here so far--and that's saying a lot. This Ngorongoro Caldera (look, one r! I'm getting it!) is absolutely incredible. We are lucky, apparently. Doug and Nancy Van Howd, who are leading our group, have been here many times over the past 12 years and they say they've never seen it so lush and green. So it has that going for it, in addition to all of the wildlife.

As we descended we saw an elephant family. There were maybe 30 of them and they were foraging among those trees I told you about yesterday--the ones that had been knocked down. Behind them was a mountain with clouds breaking over the top. In front of them, right near the road, was a huge male elephant with one broken tusk. I could watch elephants all day. They are simply fascinating, the way they move and the way they relate to each other. It was a fantastic spot for a photo and I took lots. And boy is it something to have this immense animal so close! The guide said to be very quiet and not to make any sudden movements because sometimes an elephant will charge the car! We were very obedient, and he didn't seem to be bothered by us, just kept pulling grass with his trunk and putting it in his mouth.

We got to see so much, yesterday, there's no time to tell you everything. (I'm already 1/2-way through my computer time.) It rained some in the morning and instead of ruining the excursion it made it better because the animals were much more active. One of my favorite moments was watching a zebra scratch himself against this rock that was right near the road. He scratched his belly and his neck and the side of his head--getting into lots of uncomfortable-looking positions in order to reach everything. After a little while he was done and moved on and no more than a minute later a warthog comes over to the same rock and starts scratching himself! It was awesome! The rest of the day we kept noticing these rocks with bare dirt rings around them, clearly used by the animals as "scratching rocks". We never would have noticed if we hadn't seen them in action!

The warthogs are so cool! Later in the day we were stopped near a herd of zebra and wildebeest and a warthog family with a couple of adults and about 7 piglets. At one point a hyena appeared and started freaking all the animals out. We were worried too after seeing hyenas chomp down on that baby wildebeest carcass yesterday. And everywhere the hyena went, the animals broke and ran, giving it lots of space. With one exception. The warthogs! I took a great picture of a mama warthog, all her babies behind here, facing down the hyena. It was so impressive! The hyena was completely intimidated and ended up backing off. Go warthogs! (Although I realize hyenas have their place and are part of the ecosystem here, yadda, yadda, yadda. Still, I can't help rooting for their prey!)

We also saw some adorable golden jackal cubs, a mound of elephant poop covered with fluttering yellow and white butterflies, and the highlight, a rhino! I added many, many pictures to my almost filled-up 8 gig memory card! There are two safari days left and I have 500+ pictures remaining. I'm going to have to ration myself!

Today we are off to Manara (sp?). And we are going to a Maasai village on the way. I haven't decided yet about taking their picture...

More soon!

Best Caldera Ever!

Okay, so it's the only caldera I've ever experienced but Ngorongoro Crater _is_ spectacular!

It took us a few hours to drive here. We could see the mountain off in the distance, however. A caldera is like a crater, but bigger. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caldera) This one is a huge bowl. The rim, where we are staying is at 7800 feet in elevation, while the floor is closer to 6000. The edges of Ngorongoro are forested and they remind me of Costa Rica more than anything I've seen here in Tanzania yet. There are vines and lots of vegetation. Although in some places elephants have knocked the trees over and what's left are just thin, twisted trunks. I thought there had been a fire a few years ago to leave them like that. But no. Our guide explained that mother elephants knock the trees over so their babies can reach the tops.

But I'm getting ahead of myself! On our drive here we saw more of the migration. It was incredible because we kept driving and driving and the wildebeest and zebra were constantly there. I know I have way too many wildebeest pictures, but it's just so interesting seeing them especially when a big line of them charges across the road in front of you and keeps coming and coming. You have to wait for a break before you can drive across!

We also saw the Maasai people for the first time, out walking, carrying firewood, and tending their goats and cattle. Wow! I've seen pictures of them before, but like everything else here, it doesn't compare to seeing them "live" so to speak. They wear colorful draped clothing, have these amazing earrings and live in huts set in circles surrounded by a thorny branched barrier (anyone who watched Survivor Africa probably remembers what that barrier looks like). I don't think I'm going to take any pictures of them, however. Most Maasai don't want their pictures taken and apparently there are some who will let you if you pay them, but it still feels somewhat wrong to me. I'm not sure why.

The descent into the crater was phenomenal. The best way I can describe it is bands of color. The lighter green of the grass, the darker green of the marsh, a swath of pink flamingos, silver shining water, the dark sides of the crater, and the blue sky filled with huge white puffy clouds. And once you're in the crater (I keep typing "crater", but I mean "caldera" I'm rushing with this once again so I'm not going to go back and fix it!) the animals come up to the car much closer than they have in the other places we've visited. They are used to the cars here, and don't perceive them as a threat. It's a very isolated protected place so there isn't much movement of animals from inside to outside and vice-versa. I was able to take a ostrich picture and did see a few rhino off in the distance, but didn't take any photos because they just would have been white blobs. We are hoping to see them clearer today.

Highlights of Ngorongoro so far include watching a pack of hyenas tear into a baby wildebeest carcass. We didn't see the actual kill, but another car from our group did and said it was quite a traumatic site. We also saw a huge group of vultures tear into a buffalo carcass. (I guess if the last blog entry theme was romance, this one is carcasses!) We also saw lots of crowned cranes, which are stunning (http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic-art/247347/5045/Crowned-crane), hippos, zebra, lions, a huge male elephant, and lots of birds. They are so much fun to watch, and the setting, those bands of color, make for some beautiful pictures.

I have to dash since I'm almost out of computer time and I want to get some breakfast before another day here. Yay! Another day here!

Thanks so much for the comments. I'm glad you're enjoying reading about it all! :o)

More soon.

One mass, thousands of individuals

Hello from Nbutu Safari Lodge in the southern Serengeti! http://www.ndutu.com/ There is so much to report, but again I must keep this short because I don't have a lot of computer time.

I have been in the Serengeti for a week now, and have taken well over 1000 pictures! I wish I could show a few to you here. But connections are slow. It reminds me of when I had dial-up! Once I'm home, I'll upload some of the highlights.

Right now 'the migration' is passing near Nbutu--thousands of wildebeest and zebras moving across the plains. It is an overwhelming site! Yesterday I also had the privilege to see a male lion in his prime striding along looking all tough and 'don't mess with me'. There were also two female lions guarding cubs and he didn't see them, but they sure saw him and were on full alert until he passed out of sight. He was their alpha male, but since their cubs were so young (we didn't see these cubs, but I have seen some from another pride--SO cute!) they try to stay away from him until the cubs are old enough to go along with the pride.

We also saw hyenas mating! It's quite different from the lion encounter from the other day. They have very different styles. Perhaps I'll go into more detail about it later. I did get some photos of it (feeling a little creepy to be taking pictures of such a private moment ;o) but they might be too graphic for the blog!

At the end of the day we saw some cheetahs hiding in the grass. Wow, are they ever gorgeous and sleek. I'd hoped to see them take off and chase something, but nothing was around for them to hunt. Also, our guide told us that in this group of four there were three brothers all wooing one female, so their minds were not really on hunting. (Boy, there sure seems to be a romantic theme to this blog entry, doesn't there!)

Today we are moving on to Ngorongoro Crater http://www.ngorongoro-crater-africa.org/ which is supposed to be absolutely spectacular. It's hard to imagine anything topping what I've seen so far, so I'm intrigued. I'm hoping to see a rhino and some ostriches up close. We've seen the ostriches from a distance, but I haven't gotten any good photos of them yet.

So all is not only well, it's fantastic! I feel great and while I miss my family and friends tremendously, I'm SO glad to be having this incredible experience!

More soon!

Better still!

No time to write an in-depth update. And we're moving on tomorrow, so I'm not sure what the internet facilities will be like at the next place, or when I can next write a good long entry, but I wanted to let you know three things real quick:

1) Thanks so much for the emails! I love hearing from you all. Peggy, I do have Afrin and I will definitely use it before my flights home. And Craig, I also have Vicodin and it does help--I'm glad to have a 2nd medical opinion about that! Mom, Dad, Marlene, Christina, Claire, Lizette: thanks SO much for your sweet emails. I wish I had time to respond individually, but I'm in the hotel's office b/c the other computers weren't working and the phone keeps ringing and they're super nice about me being here but I know I'm in their way so I need to wrap this up.

2) I'm feeling 100 percent now! Yahoo! What a difference!

and

3) We saw SO many great things today. Again no time to fully explain, but I'll share one small tidbit...

Lions mating.

More soon. :o)

Positivity

3/9/10 1:00 pm

I've been wracking my brain trying to think of a positive spin to put on this blog entry. I didn't want to have it full of complaints. It seemed so spoiled and ungrateful of me to have anything negative to say--seeing as how I'm on this incredible trip to Africa. But as of one hour ago it seemed like I'd either have to lie to you or whine about the truth. I was having trouble stretching my imagination to find good things to report.

Not that there's been anything externally wrong--the other people in my group are warm and friendly. My roommate is terrific! She is clearly going to be super easy to live with and I like her a lot. The flights have all been smooth--no lost luggage--everything has been on schedule and gone according to plan. But I have felt like complete crap (sorry Mom and Kara, there's just no other word for it) since about 30 minutes after taking off from San Francisco.

It just stinks! My body is not cooperating with the stresses of travel--and that's putting it mildly. I've been getting over a cold and not long after the first flight left the ground the sinus cavity over my left eye felt like an egg that a giant hand was trying to crush into shards and goo. I couldn't do anything but close my eyes with my hand across my forehead and moan internally.

It hurt so much I couldn't eat and I barely slept the whole 11-hour flight. I took some sudafed, which eventually helped some, but as is typical for me, any head pain whatever the source, tends to morph into a migraine. And three days later, the migraine is still with me.

But I didn't want to tell you this! I wanted it all to be different. So many people have been so excited for me--it sucks that this is what I had to share.

I won't go into great detail about the rest of my trip to the Serengeti. To summarize: the flight from Amsterdam to Kilimanjaro greatly tested my pain-coping skills. And I spent the 90-minute bush plane ride from Kilimanjaro to this tiny airstrip in the western Serengeti with my head leaning against the side of the plane, trying not to hurl.

Zebras and antelope scattered from our path as we touched down and the rest of the group was marveling at it all. I saw the animals out of the half-closed lid of the one eye I allowed myself to open and tried not to cry. I didn't want to feel so miserable here. I didn't want to have to tell you all of this.

So why am I telling you now? Why didn't I gloss over it or make up a fictitious account so I wouldn't sound so gloomy and pathetic? Is it because I'm all better now and can look back on it and laugh? Well, no. Unfortunately the migraine is lingering. (Although I really think it's on it's way out now, and thank god--no more flights for 10 days!)

I'm telling you about what really happened because it all has a happy ending. What I've been seeing and experiencing in the past 90 minutes has totally obliterated everything that came before. Bye bye negativity!

It's green and warm and breezy. Scott, it reminds me of Santa Rosa in the wet season. Peace. Pura Vida.

And the animals! Just on the 20-minute drive from the air strip to Kira Wira Tent Lodge, where we are staying we've seen:

zebra
impala
ostrich
cape buffalo
wart hogs
crocodiles
a fish eagle
wildebeest
baboons

That was just during the commute! We weren't even trying! It's a cliche for sure, but it is absolutely magical here. Thank you all who have made it possible!

3:00 pm

Right now I'm sitting on my tent's private veranda with the Serengeti spread out before me in a carpet of various shades of green. All is quiet except for the birds and insects. The sky arches blue overhead; the clouds drift by hugely serene and puffy white.

I miss you all and I wish the trip down here hadn't hurt so much but I don't think I'm going to need to complain anymore. Despite everything that's happened, my expectations of what this trip would be like are exceeded. Greatly exceeded. Blown to bits, really. Thanks to the Serengeti. Talk about positivity!

I'm so glad to be here.

More soon.

Amsterdam

Did I spell that right? I've no idea. I'm super tired. The flight here from San Francisco was smooth and uneventful (yay!) but I didn't sleep much. The pressure changes on the flight were awful. I came down with a sinus headache that turned into a migraine. Yay, me. Typical, unfortunately, and I don't let them stop me but I'm sure hoping it'll be gone tomorrow.

We're here in Amsterdam until tomorrow morning, so we did some sightseeing including the Van Gogh museum, which was beautiful but kind of depressing. He was clearly such a troubled person, and so amazingly talented.

It's cool here and clear and very different from anyplace else I've been. And tomorrow will be more different still--Kilimanjaro!

The safari starts Tuesday. I can't wait! :o)

Up early

I woke up at three AM this morning. Early. But maybe not too early. 3 AM is noon in Amsterdam, where I'll be this time tomorrow. So I'm already starting to adjust. Really, when you think about it, I slept in!

Some of the group are going to meet up this morning and we'll all drive to San Francisco together. Our flight leaves at 3:30. I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to my husband and kids. Two weeks feels like a long time right now.

But I am so excited to have this opportunity! I keep trying to imagine what it's going to be like in Tanzania and I just can't picture it. This site helps! There's a web cam and everything!

Serengeti National Park

My next entry should be from the plane! :o)


P.S. I'm hoping episode 24 of Dreaming of Deliverance will be live today. For those listening, I want to let you know that it's a longer episode--maybe my longest yet. So much for keeping the length consistent! There wasn't a great place to cut it, though, and since it will be awhile before I'll be able to do episode 25, I'm hoping it'll be enough to tide you over. A new element is introduced in the story this week, and let's just say in a way I'm relieved to be skipping town for awhile!

Email blog posts?

This is a test, not of the emergency broadcast system, but of the "Renee wants to be able to blog from Africa using email" system.

I'm not in Africa--yet.

I'm still home using my trusty home computer. But I'm hoping to be able to write up what's happening on my trip while I'm gone, and post it here, for anyone interested. The lodges I'm visiting are supposed to have internet access available. Isn't that crazy? Internet capability in the middle of the Serengeti!

So I'm emailing this post so I can see if it'll work.

And if anyone is wondering about episode 24 of Dreaming of Deliverance...

It might not make it up until Saturday. I'm so sorry. It's a combination of me running around going nuts trying to get ready for this last minute trip, and a few technical issues with podiobooks (Evo is out of town) and Libsyn (the server that podiobooks uses).

Please accept my sincere apologies. I've always tried really hard to get the episodes out weekly, and I think I've done pretty well, so far. But there's no team of people here making it happen, it's all me, and sometimes I can't get everything done that I want to get done.

Okay, now to hit send and see if this makes it to my blog! I'm such a dork, but I find this all very exciting!

Even more rushed than usual!

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There's so much I want to tell you! I have a new promo for Dreaming of Deliverance, put together by Kenn Crawford, and it's a huge improvement over my original promo. I can't wait to share it with you. Also, I just reviewed Michele Bekemeyer's podcast novel, Trapping A Duchess, which is terrific. I'd love to explain why, but no time. You can see my podiobooks.com review, however, here.

Why am I so rushed? Several reasons: I am subbing for a 1st/2nd grade class this morning and then I have to finish editing episode 24 of Dreaming of Deliverance. Oh there's also the trivial matter that I need to get ready for a little jaunt to Tanzania!

Yes, really! I'll be there a week from today!

I leave on Saturday and will be gone for two weeks. This all came up last minute but it's such a great opportunity, I can't turn it down. I've always wanted to go on safari!

So there's lots to say and I'll write more before I go, but for now I have to dash!

Episode 23 is Live!

Yay! Better late than never, right? This is a special episode to me both because of the big turning point in the story, and also because of the kitty cameo. My cat Bristle died right around the time I was editing this section of the book, so I modified the description of the cat in the store room to look like her. :o)

Hope you enjoy the episode!

Oh, I almost forgot: The bonus episodes at REChambliss.com are in the works, and I'm going to be unveiling the new Dreaming of Deliverance promo in a day or so. Check back soon!

I'm late!

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With episode 23, that is. Big apologies to anyone waiting. I'm working on it and should have it finished soon. I was all set to have it edited yesterday (I usually audio edit the episodes on the weekends), but as I was working through it, I realized that I'd forgotten to record a whole page of text. Doh!

So I set up the tent this morning and recorded that page before everyone woke up. Have I mentioned that the kids have been off school since Friday the 12th? And Dreaming of Deliverance not being exactly kid friendly, I can't record when they are here and conscious.

But I can't wait to have it up and posted because things are heating up even more for Lindsay and the people of Trae! It'll be worth the wait, I promise.

Also, I'm really going to try to have the bonus episodes back up at www.REChambliss.com this week. I have been a big slacker about that, but after listening to Michele Bekemeyer's fabulous Trapping A Duchess podiobook (more about that soon!), I remembered how nice it is to have that little something extra from the author. My only excuse is that I'm still so ignorant about all the technical aspects of websites and setting up podcast feeds. But I'll figure it all out and get it up and running. Plus it allows me to talk to you all some more, and I love doing that!

Thanks so much for your patience! Now back to editing...

Podiobook Episode Length Disclaimer

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A month or so ago, I became aware that podcast novel listeners prefer the episodes of the novels to which they subscribe to be all approximately the same length: from 20 minutes to 40 minutes. Well, I internalized the 20 to 40 minute part of that, but not the all roughly the same length part.

Dreaming of Deliverance has episodes that range from 12 minutes long to almost 50 minutes.

Whoops!

Now I'm trying to keep them more consistent. But being stubborn, I'm not going to hold so fast to that guideline that I break them up in ways that don't work for the story. When I was editing Episode 18, I realized that the episode I'd planned--which consisted of all of Chapter 21--was going to end up being almost an hour. So I decided to cut it into two episodes, dividing it at a point that seemed both logical and suspenseful, and also happened to be halfway through the chapter.

The episode I just posted is the first part of Chapter 22. It's going to be shorter than the second half, but from a story perspective, its ending point is a more logical (and again, suspenseful) place to put in a break.

Anyway, I'm hoping that from Episode 18 on, the episodes will all be more consistent in length, not perfectly consistent, but better than what's come up to that point.

Huge apologies to anyone who was bugged by the length variety earlier on. What can I say? I'm still learning!

The Boom Effect

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A couple of weeks ago I logged onto Twitter and read some shocking news. Tee Morris's wife Natalie had died unexpectedly. Now I don't know Tee personally, but I certainly know of him. He is the first person to podcast a novel (Morevi). In addition he is one of the founders of Podiobooks.com, and co-wrote (with the other founder, Evo Terra) Podcasting for Dummies, which I've relied on heavily ever since I decided to try my hand at podcasting.

So without Tee Morris, there probably wouldn't be so many novels being podcasted. There certainly wouldn't be a podcast novel version of Dreaming of Deliverance. He's a founding father in the podcast novel world.

But more importantly, he's also a real father: of a 5-year-old girl whom he refers to online as "Sonic Boom."

When you become a mother, you have to face many new fears. One of the biggest I've faced, is the thought of what would happen to my kids if I died. They have many people who love them, and I know that ulitmately they would be okay, but no one wants their children to have to deal with even the smallest hurt. And what could be more devastating to young children than the loss of their mother? I really can't allow my mind to go there and imagine the pain and loss they'd experience. It's too scary.

But Sonic Boom is living that reality. Her mother is gone. And her dad, Tee, is now faced with the prospect of raising her alone.

When the podcasting community learned of this tragic situation, they responded in a big way. You know how when someone you care about is dealing with a big loss, you wish you could do something to make it easier for them? Well the podcasting community is doing something. They set up a "Chip In" account to help Tee with funeral costs, and enough was raised that the excess was placed into a trust fund for Sonic Boom to help with her college expenses someday.

Now Phillipa Ballentine, my favorite podcast novel author, is orchestrating a fundraiser called "The Boom Effect", where lots of great and sometimes one-of-a-kind items will be auctioned off on line on February 27th. The proceeds will go into Sonic Boom's trust fund.

I'm donating a signed copy of the print version of Dreaming of Deliverance. So if you've been listening to the podcasts, and don't want to wait to find out what happens (we're about 1/2-way through with the story now), you can bid on DoD. Or if you were considering ordering a copy anyway, bid on it at the auction. I will pay to ship the book anywhere in the world.

But there's much more available. Definitely go and check out all that everyone has donated. I'm sure you'll find something that you'd love to bid on. It won't give Sonic Boom her mother back, or return Tee's wife to him, but you could end up with something really special, and by participating in the Boom Effect, you will help make things somewhat easier for Tee and his little girl during this terrible time.

Thanks so much.

I'm testing my voice...

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...this week. I recorded every day while the kids were at school. Both for Dead Hunt, and for Dreaming of Deliverance. I think I need to look into the proper way to read aloud, because my voice is feeling a little strained. But I don't think I'll be able to record much next week because Monday is a holiday and I'm subbing Tuesday and Wednesday, so I wanted to get a lot done while I could.

I'm really enjoying narrating Kenn Crawford's novel. And I'm REALLY enjoying only recording, and not having to do the audio editing! He gets to edit out all of the retakes, loud intakes of breath, and lip smacks. You never realize how many extraneous noises you make until you have to listen that closely to yourself. Although, there's something to be said for reading your own words and knowing how to pronounce everything. Dead Hunt takes place in Nova Scotia and the names of the various locations in the story don't exactly trip of the tongue of this west-coaster. I've even been forced to learn how to pronounce a Gaelic phrase. That was interesting!

But I'm still not writing, and that sucks! I've got to figure out how to squeeze it in!

A New Unpublishednotdead is Imminent!

I recorded it in the early morning yesterday by the light of the Christmas tree. :o)



See? That's where I was sitting on the couch. There's the towel on the table sopping up the spilled water. There's my sock-covered microphone and pantyhose pop filter!

What on earth am I talking about? Well, listen and find out! Although I guess I don't explain the pop filter this time: that was in my first UPND. In this one, I'm trying to be little r more than I have before (and I explain what that means). I also talk about my super-conflicted feelings concerning self-publishing and self-promoting and the realization I've finally come to that makes it all easier to handle.

I'll add the link as soon as it's live!

Talk to you soon!

Promo!

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Okay, enough whining! Check out the promo for the DoD podcast.

It's here!

Social Networking Blues

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I haven't blogged in awhile. I think it's because I started tweeting a little over a month ago. That means posting at Twitter.com, if you weren't already familiar with the lingo. It's a good thing for an author to do, apparently, and should help get the word out about me and Dreaming of Deliverance.

But while I have found some good information from others' tweets, and have connected with a few listeners to the podcast novel version of DoD (which is SO fabulous!) for the most part Twitter is completely stressing me out!

There are people who tweet all the time. Funny tweets. Informative tweets. Tweets that promote their work.

I'm trying, but it's hard not to feel like the little awkward girl at a party who jumps up and down in the corner and squeals, "Notice me! Notice me!"

I respond to the tweets that pique my interest or make me laugh. I congratulate people who tweet about their accomplishments. I try to self-promote in a way that will attract potential readers/listeners and not annoy or worse repel them. But often I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and not doing enough.

My calmer, more logical side says these things take time. The majority of the people I follow on Twitter are new to me--podcast novel people mostly. I'm guessing the longer I'm there, the more real connections I'll make. And I have had some great interactions! One of the tweets I responded to last week, led to a new listener, who just wrote a great review a podiobooks.com. (Thanks, Kenn!) I get to communicate with people from all over the world, and gain insights into the minds and experiences of veteran writers and podcasters. All of that is really, really positive.

But still...to me Twitter is a microcosm of the internet as a whole. It can be very useful and entertaining, but it can also be super-stressful and a huge time suck.

And now that I've written about this here, I have to decide: Do I tweet about it? Is this something I want to admit to my 100+ followers?

It's why I haven't blogged lately, because most Twitter users tweet about their blog entries and I'm not sure my blog ramblings are tweet worthy--especially one about Twitter insecurity. I don't even have a "Follow me on Twitter" button here on Pointed Squiggle or at REChambliss.com.

Guess I'd better get going on that! I'll add it to my chronically lengthening to-do list.

But in the meantime, if you want to follow me on Twitter, search for "reneechambliss". I'm there. Trying to get to know people. Trying to connect about reading, writing, podcasting, and independent authordom. I see the value to Twitter, I really do.

So I'll also try to stop jumping up and down in the corner.

Well, duh! Post an excerpt!

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So while perusing information on self-promotion yesterday I came across something so obvious, I can't believe I never thought of it myself.

When you're in a bookstore, or in the library and you see an appealing book, what do you do? You pick it up and open it and see if the writing style and tone appeal to you.

But when you're shopping online you can't do that. So an author with a book for sale online needs to have an excerpt available, so that online shoppers can virtually pick up the book and flip through it. Duh!

So, I've put up Chapters 1-3 on my author web site. You can either read them right there at the site, or download a .pdf version. And I'm hoping to get an excerpt at the Amazon listing too.

I'm slow sometimes, but I can be taught!

(And yes my neck still hurts! I need to find a good masseuse, I think!)

Coming soon to podiobooks.com...

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...this intriguing, compelling novel called Dreaming of Deliverance!!

The whole reason I started this blog way back when was to motivate myself to finish the first draft and now there's an actual physical book that people can buy, Kindle people can download the Kindle version, and starting Monday, October 26, podcast novel listeners can download free audio episodes at podiobooks.com!

Wow!

I'm not very good at pausing and thinking about my goals once they've been achieved--I tend to focus more on whatever I need/want to do next--but today I am going to stop and reflect on all that's been accomplished since this blog began.

I'll say it again...

Wow!

Slacker be me

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So ungrammatic, but so true. (And if you were wondering, "ungrammatic" is apparently not grammatically correct either!)

Actually, to give myself a break, I'm not a slacker in general, just when it comes to updating this blog, because:

Now you can listen to Dreaming of Deliverance, the podcast novel version, episodes 1-4!

Check them out at:

REchambliss.com, click "Hear DOD" and you should find them. If not, let me know!

I'm having a lot of fun recording these. I hope you are enjoying listening to them!

Tranquility Has Been Achieved

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Well, maybe not complete tranquility, but I am much calmer today.

The triathlon was great! I swam, I biked, I ran! And I'm definitely doing it again next year.

As for the website podcast glitch, it appears to be resolved. I still need to figure out how to get the podcast on iTunes, but one thing at a time, right?

So if you want to listen to Episode 1 of Dreaming of Deliverance, the podcast version, click here. Then click on "Dreaming of Deliverance Episode 1 + Bonus", and you should be able to hear it. Let me know if you can't.

And let me know what you think! :o)

Where Renee Freaks Out Again

I'm freaking out! Again! Fitting, I suppose, since I haven't freaked out in awhile and that used to be the theme of this blog way back in the early days. I'd freak out, and blog about it. But then, I stopped freaking out as much and also got sick of writing about it, so that's why there aren't so many entries these days.

But today? Ick! The anxious adrenaline is flowing.

Why?

Two reasons. One is that I just can't get the web site to work as I'd like. The first podcast cuts out half-way through and I have no idea why. So I'm trying to figure that out because some wonderful supportive family members have been getting the word out about Dreaming of Deliverance's availability and I want newcomers to me and my web site to have a good experience, not a frustrating one where things don't work as they should.

The second reason? Tomorrow I'm doing my first triathlon. I just got back from the "1st Timer's Clinic" and now I'm a big nervous mess. It's going to be tough and I don't know how it's going to go.

And I just want the web site to work!

Bleck!

I'm going to give up in a minute and go home and rest up for tomorrow. So for anyone who is checking this blog out for the first time? Please bear with me! I've figured out quite a bit about this independent publishing thing so far, and I'm sure I can figure this out too! Come back in a couple of days when I'll probably be nice and calm again!

I'm out there and I'm LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT! (Not really, but I am out there.)

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I'm basically an introvert--not the type of person who likes to be the center of attention. But because I'm independently publishing Dreaming of Deliverance, I need to put myself out there. So I am. And it's a little uncomfortable, but it's also kind of exciting because now Dreaming of Deliverance is available on Amazon! And I have an author web site! And the free podcast version, and the Kindle version should be ready soon!

So feel free to check out my brand-spanking new author web site REChambliss.com. There you will find links where you can order a print copy of Dreaming of Deliverance. And it will also be the place to go to find out when the podcasts will begin--soon, I promise. The podcasts are my next priority now that the website is up and running.

Anyway, I'm out there! There's no getting around it. Tell me what you think. I'm winging a lot of this, so if you have any suggestions for how I could make the site better, let me know!

Return to Squaw

Sometimes it's not a good idea to return to the past.

For example, I probably shouldn't ever look like this again:



Okay, I never really looked like that. I've been playing with Yearbook Yourself 2009. Although, my sister has some pretty scary photos of me from the 80s, the era of big hair, that I'm hoping she burns soon. It wasn't a flattering decade.

Anyway, I'm back at the Community of Writers at Squaw Valley, and it's cool, but kind of weird too. I'm not doing the workshop this year and I like that I can attend the panel discussions, and craft talks without the pressure of giving feedback and the worry about my own writing being critiqued.

But at the same time, it's odd to be here, but not one of the participants. In some ways it's exactly the same as it was last year. I see all of the same kinds of people (including my type--horrifying as that is) but I'm looking at it from the outside, instead of experiencing it from within.

Okay, that sounds bizarre. And I don't think it was a mistake to come here, like a mullet and Crue t-shirt would be a mistake. But it is...strange.

I must think more on this!

The Cover!

Check out the cover to Dreaming of Deliverance! I'm so pleased with how it turned out!

We still have a ways to go before the book is available at Amazon, but seeing the cover design is making it seem all the more real. It's going to be an actual book! Very exciting!

Lots to say, little time to say it

---

Quick update, you invisible friends of questionable reality.

The print version of Dreaming of Deliverance is underway and should be available in 3 short months!

I recorded a test episode of the podcast version and it went well enough that I'm ready to start recording the book for real. The podcasts should start around the time the print version is available.

There is SO much to learn about all of this. I'm taking it one step at a time, but it gets overwhelming. Next step is to write the back cover copy. Then I take on the intimidating, but oh-so-important task of setting up an author web site, which needs to be up and running once the book and podcasts "go live" (that's podiobook lingo, I think).

Meanwhile, I'm trying to work on my kids' book, I'm subbing an average of a couple of times a week, and doing all the house/kid/wife stuff.

Tired?

Yes.

Stressed?

Yes.

Trying to squeeze too much in?

Probably.

Things should get both easier and harder soon. School is out in less than a month, so no more subbing for a while. But that also means the kids will be home all day every day.

But now at least I can scratch "Update Blog" off my list!

Gotta like validation!

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Hey!

I came across this article this morning. It's more validation that going independent can be a viable option.

And both the podcast novel and the print version of Dreaming of Deliverance are getting closer to completion. I'll try to be better about keeping the blog updated on their progress.

Right now I'm working on the cover design and recording the first five episodes.

Exciting times!

More soon!

Janet Fitch

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One of the writers who was on staff last year at the Squaw Valley Fiction Writers Workshop, Janet Fitch, has a blog, which I've added to my links list.

Fitch is the author of White Oleander and Paint it Black, both of which are quite dark, but are also incredibly compelling stories and gorgeously written. They are definitely worth reading.

And she was great at the workshop last year. Her afternoon session on dialog was terrific and very helpful. I also loved that in person she didn't seem like someone who'd write dark books. She was friendly and down-to-earth and came across as very together--not tortured and angst-filled like so many of her characters.

Why would that appeal to me? Because I don't seem like someone who'd write dark books either! In fact, someone who knows me and just read my novel, was surprised at how dark and profanity-laden it was. ("I didn't know you had such a potty mouth!" were her precise words.)

That's something that non-writers don't seem to get about us story-tellers: we make things up.

Writing fiction gives me the freedom to be anyone, act like anyone, explore any issue, imagine what it'd feel like to be in any situation. I get to set aside my compulsion to be nice and do the right thing all the time. I can act like a jerk. I can experience terrible hurts and tragedies without really experiencing them.

It's great to pretend to be another person! It's a freedom that's probably limited to kids and actors and spies.

And fiction writers!

Anyway, I really liked Janet Fitch's blog. Check it out. Read her books. And she's going to be at Squaw again this year for anyone who wants to see first-hand that one doesn't have to seem like a dark person to write dark stories.

The Digital Age of Literature

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Have you, imaginary readers out there, seen this article from Time?

Books Gone Wild: The Digital Age Reshapes Literature

There are more options out there than there used to be. Sure times are rough in traditional publishing, but that's not the only way to get one's story out into the world.

More to come....

Developing Calluses

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I could learn a thing or two from this guy.

Talk about thick skin and perseverance and belief in one's writing!

Podcast Novels

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Have you ever heard of a "podcast novel"? I hadn't until recently, but now that I know, I'm very excited about the concept. Basically, it's an audio version of a novel that's distributed serially on the internet.

Podiobooks.com has lots to chose from. Most are read by the author. The quality seems to vary widely (although I've only checked out 3 or 4 so far). You can download them for free and make a donation to the author, if you'd like.

My favorite so far is Shadowmagic, by by John Lenahan. I've listened to the first two chapters already, and they are great! Lenahan is a fabulous reader, too, which I think really allows his engaging story to shine through. I am incredibly impressed and it has gotten me thinking....

Technology being what it is, there are many more ways to share a story today than there used to be. This is a route I'm definitely going to explore!

Queries--Fun, fun, fun!

Does anyone like doing queries? I can't imagine it, but I suppose there must be someone out there who enjoys the process.

I'm forcing myself to query, because of course, I'm unlikely to obtain representation otherwise.

Oh sure, there's always the possibility that an agent with interests that match my book, great connections, and an easy-to-get-along-with personality will happen to knock on my door one day. Maybe his or her car breaks down right in front of my house, say.

But I've decided that I can't count on something like that to happen. I must take the steps necessary to make these agents aware of me and my book. And that means querying.

Finding information on querying is a perfect example of how the internet can be helpful, while also making you crazy at the same time. There are SO many web sites out there with advice on the best way to approach agents. And while there are some universal guidelines to follow, there are also lots of conflicting opinions on the details of how to do a great query. It is possible to spend hours and hours sifting through it all--hours when one could be writing or mopping the floor.

And on each of these sites there are hordes of other writers throwing in their two cents on what to do, as well as relaying all of their struggles when it comes to trying to land an agent. It makes me realize how unoriginal all of my querying angst is. Us aspiring-to-find-an-agent types are everywhere!

So trying to do a query the right way and at the same time knowing that it has to stand out from among the piles and piles of other queries being produced, makes it tough for perfectionists like me. Basically, it stresses me out, big time! But I'm doing it. Yay me.

Hmm....That's pretty sarcastic and grim. I should probably end this blog entry on a positive note, so since I've mentioned that the internet can be helpful when it comes to querying, I'd like to post a link to an extremely helpful querying resource: QueryTracker.net.

QueryTracker.net lets you search for agents' contact information and web presence, plus you can use it to track who you've sent queries to, and what the response has been.

So check it out if you're querying! It's definitely helping me.

And try to ignore the depressing statistic posted on the front page that there are 10,000+ registered users and only 83 success stories.

Gee, guess I won't be ending positively!

Buy new books!

It's shopping time. And we all know the news about the economy isn't exactly good. I was reading an agent's blog the other day (and I don't know why I go to those sites, because they usually stress me out, and this time was no exception) and it was all about how bad the publishing industry was doing, and how that meant the publishing climate was tougher for writers than ever before, blah, blah, blah. And the agent ended by encouraging everyone to buy new books to help the industry.

It got me thinking. The holidays are coming up. I have lots of gifts to buy. Why not buy new books? I love books. It's fun to think of which books would be appealing to the various people on my list. It makes shopping easier because the potential gift possibilities are limited. I can't really see a downside.

So that's my plan. I probably won't only buy books as gifts, but it's going to be mostly what I give. And if I can do my small part to help out the publishing industry, why not? It's not exactly an original idea. I just checked Laurie R. King's blog and she's encouraging people to do something similar.

So join the movement! Buy new books!

What comes next?

---

I don't know, and as I result I'm both stuck and procrastinating. This is for the story I'm currently working on, which is something my kids can read, since nothing I've written so far is appropriate for them.

But all of a sudden, I'm itching to get back to my big story--part 2 to the novel I've already written. I want to get the kid one done first, though.

So butt down in chair, hands on keyboard, push through the pain of not knowing what comes next.

I always find it eventually.

How'd I miss this?

---

J.K. Rowling delivered the commencement address at Harvard this past June.

Here's a link.

The whole thing is fabulous, but I was especially struck by the following quote:

Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

Wow!

Story Builders

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I've started a writing workshop for the kids in my daughter's 4th/5th combination class. It's called "Story Builders". I go in once a week for an hour and meet with them in groups and we talk about stories and play creativity games. I'm also giving them writing prompts to use in their own writing.

Here are the ones they've seen so far:

- Mary's lamb was indestructible.

- Whatever you do, don't touch that!

- She said "Gus" was her plant's name.

These first three came to me pretty easily. (Weird things pop up in my head all the time!) But if you have any suggestions for future writing prompts, I'd love to hear them!

More thoughts on criticism and negativity...

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In thinking about yesterday's post I realized I have a tad bit more to say about the subject. So miracle of miracles, here's another post only one day later!

Sure negative comments can be helpful, but that doesn't mean I think we all should just let those negative comments fly without taking into consideration the writer's feelings.

Tact and delicacy, people!

There's always something positive that can be said about a piece and that's what you should start with when giving a critique. In my opinion, anyway.

Also, I believe it's important not to try to change a piece to the way you would do it if you were writing it. You're not. There are many styles and types of writing out there and no one is the only way. So when I read each of the Workshop 8 manuscripts I tried to figure out what the writer was trying to do and make my suggestions and comments based on that. I was probably wrong a bunch of the time (in one case I know I was WAY wrong!) but I thought that approach was more respectful to the writer than trying to rewrite what they'd done based on how I'd do it.

So, in summary: positive things can come from negativity, but try to be nice about it!

One Story

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I just subscribed to One Story.

Every three weeks I'll receive one short story in the mail. Historically, I've never been a big short story reader, but I want to read more of them and one at a time like this, sounds nice and manageable.

As for writing, I am about to start submitting my novel once again. The feedback at Squaw was encouraging, both from my workshop group and my one-on-one interview, and I've finished editing it so I suppose it need to start putting it out there.

Submitting is not my favorite part of being a writer, but if one wants to be read by more than just a handful of people, it's kind of necessary!

A SFD writer's nightmare

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Remember Twilight and Stephenie Meyer?

Well, a draft, a SFD (shitty first draft) I'm guessing, of part of her work in progress, the most recent novel of the Twilight series, has been posted on the internet. (That's a link to an article about the incident, by the way, not the draft itself.)

I'm cringing thinking about how Meyer must feel. Not only is the plot of her story, "spoiled" now, but to have writing that's not ready exposed publicly? Makes my private, control-freak nature shudder!

What a shame.

Squaw Valley Community of Writers

I was fortunate enough to be a participant at this year's Squaw Valley Community of Writers Fiction Writing Workshop. If you've ever thought about going, I highly encourage you to apply.

It was such a great week!

The Everyday Athlete

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I've been stumped for blog topics and it shows.

When I started blogging, I needed motivation and a place to express the enormous pile of writing-related angst steaming inside of me. Well, thankfully motivation is now ingrained, the angst has dwindled, and anything I can think of to say about either, I've already said, and much more melodramatically than what I would come up with now.

That's good. I don't want to be filled with anxiety and unable to get myself to do what I want to do. I'm glad that I've moved on from where I was at the beginning of this blog, but it sure has left me at a loss when it comes to new entries.

Basically, I'm still editing, and there isn't a lot to say about it really. Same old, same old.

But today I came across a blog that reminded me of the power of writing and the ability to set down a story in a moving, engaging way. This isn't a "writing blog", but it's a fabulous example of good writing and what it can do. Plus it's about challenging oneself to set goals that might seem out of reach...at first.

Beautifully written and very inspiring.

The Everyday Athlete

Check it out!

Coffee: Part 2

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Here's a new post to bump my musings on grout and mildew from the top of the page.

Way back when I started this blog, I discovered a magic liquid that helped to make my extremely early mornings possible.

Coffee

Last week I received a magic machine in the mail that makes me happily get up as soon as my alarm or Dixie wakes me up.

The Senseo.

A friend told me about a link where I could get one for $15. In exchange, I was supposed to tout it to all of my friends. The ethics of the whole thing made me a little nervous, since I didn't know if I'd like the Senseo enough to sing its praises, but I didn't need to worry, because the Senseo is awesome! In 2 minutes I get a delicious cup of coffee with this yummy layer of foam on top. It reminds me of the coffee I had at the hotel where we stayed in Barcelona. So easy to make and so good! If you like coffee, but don't need a whole pot of the stuff at a time, check it out.

Hmmm...which is better on top, a post about grout or what's basically an ad?

I'm not sure, but either way I should probably get something else up here soon!

Scrubbing Grout

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The other day when I was cleaning my bathroom it occurred to me that cleaning the grout in the shower is similar to editing a manuscript.

With a shower, you start scrubbing at the mildew and soap scum and feel like you're making progress, but as you clean the dirtiest, most obvious parts, the less dirty, but still problematic strips of grout become more noticeable. So you tackle those, get them all clean and white, and then the areas that weren't quite as bad, but still aren't perfect rear up their ugly heads.

I'm guessing that eventually the grout in the whole shower could be gleaming and pristine (I don't know for sure, because I've never had enough shower-cleaning enthusiasm to get it that way), but it's incredibly frustrating because it takes SO LONG and there's so much grout to scrub and unless you took a picture of what the shower looked like originally, it's hard to see your progress, so you feel like you are scrubbing and scrubbing and not getting anywhere.

Same with a manuscript. You read through it, clean up the darkest, most obviously, mildewed parts, but when you've gotten those straightened out, new areas that need work become obvious. Rinse, repeat ad nauseam!

I'm still editing, and unfortunately there's still some mildew to scrub.

But, and here's where I get positive, the stained grout of my manuscript all has to do with the writing, the story continues to feel clean and sparkling. It's another reason why I want to get the wording in good shape. I like this story so much, and I want it to shine through.

So I'm forging ahead, feeling both discouraged and optimistic. But with a lot of scrubbing, I'm hopeful that the manuscript will finally be ready to go out before too long.

I don't need a snooze button...

...because I have Dixie.

See sometimes I get up right away--as soon as my alarm goes off at 4:26. But other mornings, I'm slow to wake up so Dixie helps me. Mostly she peers into my face and meows to remind me that though she's waited very patiently throughout the night, it's time for me to get my lazy self out of bed and make sure that her food bowl is filled to an adequate level. If the meowing alone doesn't do it, she's been known to sit on my chest and meow right in my ear until I respond.

It's annoying and cute (if you're a cat person) and certainly effective.

And to update, the editing is progressing slowly but steadily. I'm glad to be doing it, however. The story is becoming tighter and more focused and that will only help once I return to query land.

Hold off on the hitting for a little longer, okay?

---

Okay. Here's the deal. I started working on some new queries, and then received some feedback on my manuscript from a writer friend (who comments on this blog from time to time :o), which rang so true, I decided to go through the whole thing and edit it once again.

The good news about that is I don't have to do the queries...for a while, anyway!

The bad news is that I thought I'd finished editing. But I want my story to be as strong as it can be. It doesn't make sense to send out a manuscript if it's not ready.

So, it's going to be a little longer before I need that query kick in the butt.

I'll let you know when the time comes!

Hit me or something

---

I need a big kick in the rear! I've got to get some more queries out, and I'm just not doing it.

I've had encouraging responses to my earlier submissions, and need to keep trying!

There's no reason not to, so what's keeping me from it?

• Fear.


• Insecurity.


• The fact that submitting seems to severely hamper my ability to do new writing.

Okay, I guess I do have a few reasons. But they're pretty lame reasons; they shouldn't stop me.

I've used this blog before to get my act in gear. Something about declaring my intentions publically seems to make a difference. So I'm going to see if it helps with the query process.

I will send out more queries. Oh yes. I will send out more queries.*




*Picture Wayne Campbell saying this as he rubs his hands together intently, and you'll know the tone I'm going for here.

Happy Groundhog Day!

Did he see his shadow where you live? Don't know here yet. It's still dark!

Unfortunately the official groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, did see his shadow, which means 6 more weeks of winter. Wah!

Good writing weather, at least.

I just spent far too long trying to find a groundhog photo to add to this entry, but I give up! Instead here's a link to Phil's official page, which is Groundhog.org of course.

Embarrassing Admission

---

I've been listening to Justin Timberlake lately while I write.

It helps somehow.

Yes, I know I am a 37-year-old woman with two kids.

But it helps, OKAY?!?!

I'm hoping I haven't lost any friends over this. Please don't lose all respect for me! (Wyo, I'm talking to you! ;o)

Oooh, "SexyBack" is coming up next on my play list! That's a good one!

It *is* possible!

---

She posted weeks ago about this, but since I've been a slacker, lately, when it comes to reading blogs, I only read about it today.

Susan Adrian has an agent!

Isn't that terrific! I'm so excited for her. :o)

(And it's also inspired me to send out another round of submissions!)

Congratulations, Susan!

2008

---

In lots of ways, 2007 was a great year. I finished my book, went on two amazing trips, and became an auntie again. There's nothing to complain about, and lots to celebrate and appreciate.

On the writing front, however, I'm in a low place. Part of the reason is that I'm still not sure what I should write. I feel called to write the sequel to my first book. That's the story I can see right now. But I'm scared to work on it because the acceptance of the first book is so uncertain. Writing a sequel doesn't make a lot of sense if the first book doesn't sell.

I wish something different would ask me to write it, but so far, except for the short story I wrote a couple months ago, nothing has grabbed me. There are lots of ideas whirling around my imagination, but none have taken hold. The story for the sequel is too compelling.

So I think I need to write the second book, even though it might not make the most practical sense right now. But I've never approached writing fiction from a calculated, practical place. Instead, I've tried to trust that the story won't let me down, and let it tell itself, through me. That was easier to do when it was just the story and me. Now it's me and the story and the agents. Big, fat, YIKES!

But as I'm constantly telling my kids, it's important to be grateful for what you have, instead of constantly pining for what you don't. I have a book to submit to agents--something I worked for for years. I know I can find stories, and connect to them, and set them down in a readable way. I have supportive friends and family. Aside from this current writing low, I have NOTHING to complain about. In my personal life, things are great.

And if I had a choice between creating something I didn't connect strongly with, even if it was snapped up right away; and writing a story that takes over my imagination and amazes and surprises me, even if it takes awhile to be appreciated by the pros, I'd choose the compelling story and the strong connection. No question at all.

Whew! I guess I do know what I should be writing.

Happy 2008, everyone! (Instead of "everyone" I should probably just say Cindy and wyo. :o) Hope you have a terrific year!

There is no right

---

I have good girl disease. I'm a rule follower. I like to do things right.

Want an example? In the parking lot at my kids' school there is a lane that's marked in bright yellow spray paint "Buses Only". This lane takes you right up to the front of the school; it's certainly the most convenient. Plus it's free of speed bumps. Lots of other parents use the "Buses Only" lane, but I never do. Even in the middle of the school day when there's no chance a bus might appear. Even if I have to go up to the school on a Saturday.

That yellow spray paint says "Buses Only" and I drive a Ford Explorer, not a bus. Obviously the right thing to do is to stick to the slower, more inconvenient, speed bump infested option.

When I was pregnant each time, I did that right. I followed the rules. I never drank. Never took so much as a Tylenol. I slept on my left side. I never took a hot bath. I wouldn't stand near the microwave when it was running. All the things you were supposed to do, I did.

I like to do what I'm supposed to do.

But lately I've started to think that trying to be right all the time is causing me a lot of unnecessary mental anguish--especially when it comes to writing.

Sure there are mountains of writing rules one can try to follow. Check out all of those writing books and web sites and you'll find lots of rules that good writers are supposed to adhere to*. Here are a few, just off the top of my head:

• Minimize the use of adverbs.


• Use "said" instead of "interjected" or "exclaimed" or even better don't use any dialogue tags at all. If you're doing it "right" the reader should know who is speaking without you having to tell them.


• In fact don't tell anything: Show don't tell, right?

But what's frustrating when one is a rule follower is that those writing rules are broken all the time. Pick up virtually any book out there and you'll see examples of writing that doesn't follow the rules.

I've been pulling my hair out trying to write the right way, and there is no right way.

How did I realize this? I just finished Stephenie Meyer's Twilight, and I loved it. I gobbled it down in one day, I was so riveted. But Meyer doesn't always follow the writing rules. Actually, she breaks them regularly.

And what's worse in my mind, her story doesn't follow my own personal code for what's right. Her heroine is drawn to someone profoundly dangerous. In fact her heroine is just plain weak in lots of ways. She's rescued time and time again by a someone who's all wrong for her. Her life is literally in danger from being with this guy, but she doesn't care. She'd die for love.

Ugh! As a teen, I'd have bought that "love is worth anything" premise without hesitating. But now that I'm old and jaded and cynical I know that love is NOT worth anything. Still I tore through the book and can't wait to read the next in the series.

But it wasn't right. So why did I enjoy it so much?

Maybe because art can't be quantified by a list of rules. Maybe because when it comes to creativity there is no right.

I think I'm chasing my tail and torturing myself over something that doesn't exist. I've been convinced that if I try hard enough I should be able to write the right way. But there is no right. What works for one person is not going to work for someone else. I know I've said that before, but I hadn't connected it to my all-consuming need to be right all of the time.

There is no right. There is no right.

I'm going to keep saying that to myself, and I hope eventually, it will sink in!


______________________
* In case you're wondering about whether or not it's right to end a sentence with "adhere to", most of the time it's fine to end sentences with prepositions. Check out this article if you don't believe me!

Evidence of my distraction

aka: The Aftermath






Writers are supposed to avoid clichés, but I'm too tired from Thanksgiving to muster up the energy to say anything other than...







A picture's worth a thousand words!











So here are three pictures to make up for the three thousand words I haven't written lately and to explain why I haven't had time to write them.










Guess I'd better wrap this up and head back to the kitchen...

(sigh)

Concise is nice, right?

---

This will be another brief entry. (How can it be Friday again already?!)

Cindy mentioned in her comment to my last post that sometimes amazing things come from writing even when you're uninspired.

That happens to me regularly!

So I've had to force myself to work a couple of times this week (which has turned out to be even busier than I thought), but even so, the story has moved in a really interesting direction.

I love it when that happens!

The kids and I are going away for the weekend, then they are off school all next week, and I'm hosting a T-giving dinner for 10 people at my house on Thursday, so I'm not expecting to make a lot of progress in the near future. But I'm going to sit down every day regardless. Even if I don't make my 1000 word a day goal every day, any progress is better than none. And who knows what will crop up? If I make myself sit down and do it, I know progress will be made somehow!

It's Friday, so I have to blog about something!

---

For some reason, all of my recent entries have been on Fridays. I'm not sure why that is, but now posting on Friday feels compulsory. So here I am even though I don't feel particularly inspired.

Please bear that in mind as you read the three scattered thoughts to follow.

1. The 1000-word-a-day plan is going well--although the next few weeks are rife with school holidays and minimum days so I will have more mom-responsibilities than usual and it might be difficult to stay on track.


2. The story is coming together. I still have a lot of unanswered questions, but I feel pretty confident (most of the time) that I'll find the answers eventually.


3. I think the nice thing about having a word count goal is that it keeps you working, even when you don't feel like writing--even when you're uninspired. Hey! That's kind of like having a must-blog-on-Fridays policy!

So there you have it! Uninspired and compulsory, but also done!

See you next Friday!

The Plan

My new approach is twofold:

1. Write 1000 words a day--even on days where I don't have a lot of time, like the weekends. I'll get up early to write as usual, and squeeze the rest of the words in during the day. I've managed to get 1000 new words written every day this week, except for Halloween, which was super busy, so I only managed 500.

2. On the days when I do have more time, after I've gotten my 1000 done, I'll revise what I've already written. Some writers can keep going forward on a first draft without revising, but I don't think I have it in me to write only SFD. Plus I enjoy revising (most of the time) and trying to get my wording just right.

At first, I worried that at an 1000-word a day pace, I wouldn't be able to keep up with the revising. But so far it hasn't been a problem. That might change later in the month. The kids have a lot of days off in November.

But regardless, I'm making much better progress than I was, so for now, I'd say this new approach is working well for me.

And since this has to be my most boring blog entry ever (and that's saying something!), I'm going to close with a quote and a link.

My daughter's class is reading Laura Ingals Wilder's Little House on the Prairie. One of the assignments contained this passage:

When Laura peeked out from behind the slab again, both Indians were looking straight at her. Her heart thumped into her throat and choked her with its pounding. Two black eyes glittered down into her eyes. The Indian did not move, not one muscle of his face moved. Only his eyes shone and sparkled at her.

Isn't that great? I love the language: simple and understandable but also unique and incredibly descriptive.

And here's the link, which has nothing to do with fiction, but I'm throwing it out here anyway:

1977 JC Penney Catalog

Prepare to be amused!

Cheetah Girl

I'm going to become a cheetah: strong, and fleet, and focused.

What is Renée babbling about now?

Last year I wrote a rather negative post about my struggles with finding enough time to write and trying to balance the pulls of motherhood against my desire to write my story. In response, the amazingly talented (and now bestselling author!) Vicki Pettersson recommended I check out Lynn Viehl's e-book, The Way of the Cheetah. I did and it was SO helpful.

Viehl recommends that one write like a Cheetah on the hunt--keep your eye on your prey and pursue it with a single-minded determination.

Lately I've been writing more like a sea anemone: sitting in one place, my appendages outstretched and waving, hoping little bits of food will find their way into my mouth.

My situation now is so different than where I was last year. Now I have more time--not the hours and hours a day I imagined I'd have once both of my kids were in school, but much more time than ever before. But instead of squeezing every bit of productivity I can out of my day, I've been slower, lazier, spoiled by the thought of all of those hours available to me, and more likely to put writing off since I can always write later.

But if you don't write now because you can write later, you won't get much done

So I'm going to be a cheetah and set a new, ambitious productivity goal--one that I couldn't have met last year, but can now because I do have more time. I'm not going to screw around anymore; I'm going to take advantage of the extra time and get busy.

I'm not brave enough yet to post the goal here--I've still got to get used to the idea. But expect to hear more about this soon!

Missing BC

This weekend is the Surrey International Writers' Conference in Surrey, BC. I went in 2004 and 2006, but I'm not going this year. It is a fabulous event--the presenters are first-rate and just by attending you get to have one-on-one, face-to-face meetings both to have your work critiqued as well as to pitch your ideas.

I had incredible experiences both times I went and am a little blue not to be going this year. It's so much fun and so inspiring!

Something New

I finished a short story!

I'd been feeling so stuck with Book 2 and an idea for a short story popped into my head so I decided to see where it would take me. It relates to my first novel, but neither story nor book depend on each other. It's also written in a very different voice than I've used before. What a blast to think as someone so far removed from myself.

I love finishing! When writing novels, you don't get to finish very often. But having a complete story--something I can share with other people--feels great! Maybe I'll have to write more short things. If nothing else, switching gears might help me get through those seemingly inevitable rough patches in the novel writing process.

Now I'm ready to get back on track with Book 2. I'm hoping this diversion was exactly what I needed to immerse myself in that world once more.

"It's not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both."

--E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

I had a fabulous conversation today with someone who’s both a true friend and a good writer. We talked about stories and characters and where they come from. I told her about how I got started on my novel, and the spark that inspired me to begin. This small kernel of an idea grew and became more complex and rich and interesting as I was writing.

Basically you don’t have to know what’s going to happen in a story before getting started. You don’t even have to know much about your characters. You can find them and learn all sorts of interesting things about them as you write. It’s such a freeing realization, that you don’t need to know everything about your story before you start, or even more than just the tiniest tidbit. Most of it you can find along the way.

It was so great to talk to her about all of that because I had forgotten how babyish those initial steps were for me four plus years ago when I began writing fiction. It helped so much to remember how slowly I started. I think one of the reasons I’ve been so paralyzed lately is that I’ve been thinking about the whole of book two, instead of taking it step by baby step like I did with book one.

I don’t have to know much about what’s going to happen in this second book. I'll find it as I go.

She can too, and I can't wait to read what she discovers!

Process Juggling

So I'm submitting my first book, beginning book 2, and hoping not to explode into a cloud of anxiety in the meantime.

Trying to find an agent is both terrifying, and strangely exciting. There's an element about it of taking a deep breath and stepping off a cliff. I can't think about what's really happening too much, I just have to do it. But paradoxically, I also have to pay close attention to all of the details because they need to be perfect. So I'm in an odd place of trying to detatch emotionally from what I'm doing, while at the same time really focusing on it. No wonder I'm a little scattered right now!

Because of the frightening nature of the submitting process, I'm having some trouble diving into book 2. You see, in the early drafting phases of a story, I have to play a lot of mind games with myself because often what initially emerges from my brain and lands on the screen is...shall we say...less than perfect. It's usually quite bad, in fact. So knowing that my writing has to be darn good for an agent to want to take me on, makes it hard for me to let go and be bad in the drafting phase. I can't forget that what I'm writing is eventually going to be read, because right now I'm sending out something I've written to be read by people who are evaluating it! My stomach sinks, just typing the words! True, the writing the agents are reading is different writing, but tell that to my anxious thoughts. They are having trouble differentiating.

But as I mentioned in my last entry, I realize I need to write and be creative. It helps me handle everything. Something about that creative outlet brings me peace. So while in some ways, the new writing adds to my nervousness, it also helps reduce it.

Yeah, that doesn't really make sense, even to me!

I am a writer

Why do I feel so sheepish declaring it? I am. I've recently realized that I need to write for my emotional health. Sure it can be difficult, but it's something worthwhile to stress about. I'd much rather agonize over a problem in a story I'm creating, or getting my language just right, than the laundry or my grimy floors.

My kids are both in school now, so I have more time. I'm going to take advantage of it. I've started my second novel, and my first is going out to agents.

I really am a writer. Maybe someday I'll feel comfortable saying so.

Rats!

I wanted to post more to my blog, but it's been over a week and I still haven't gotten back to it. Ugh!

And there's no time right now to compose a new entry, but in the spirit of putting up something, I thought I'd post a link to an article I read recently that relates to one of my 7 "random" facts. Timely don't you think? Check out the ad at the bottom. Doesn't exactly match the article's content!

Be back soon, I hope!

;P










(Oh and in keeping with the theme of this entry, the kids are I are going to see Ratatouille this afternon!)

Update and some not exactly random facts

So, I haven't stopped writing, I've just stopped blogging. But wyo tagged me, and I remembered: I have a blog! Maybe I should get back to it.

However, since I've found a way to deal with all of the emotion and angst I used to describe here, I'm not sure what to blog about. I'll have to put some thought into it.

But, first things first: here's an update. I finished editing the beta version of my novel in May. Three incredibly-generous-with-their-time friends read/are reading the manuscript, and I'm now incorporating their comments. I still haven't heard from one person, but the two who have responded said (*blush*) that they really liked it. Nice to hear. Okay, who am I kidding...it was GREAT to hear! So the time to send the manuscript out to literary agents is approaching. :o)

Now on to wyo's tag. 7 random facts. Hmm...random. How can one consciously think randomly? Wouldn't you have to choose many facts first, say 100 or so, and then randomly select 7 of them? Sorry, I'm not going to do that. Coming up with 7 is going to be tough enough.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the first 7 facts about me that popped into my head just now (and that I am willing to share publicly).

1. I can tie the stem of a cherry into a knot, using only my mouth. It is an innate ability, which I didn't know I had until I was around 20 and tried to do it for the first time. Bet you didn't know I was so talented!

2. I hate eating popsicles. I can't stand popsicle sticks. Something about them give me the creeps. And the thought of chewing on one (which I realize is not a necessary part of the popsicle-eating experience) is horrifying. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, and I have no idea why.

3. I like rats. Well not wild rats, but pet rats. My kids have two and they are so sweet and friendly, with such cute personalities. Several times last year when I walked my daughter to school, I brought the rats, who sat on my shoulder or hid underneath my sweatshirt. I'm not sure if any of the other parents noticed since I was avoiding eye contact and trying to decide if carrying two rats on the walk to school made me a cool mom or just a weirdo!

4. I have a very young-sounding voice. I'm 37 and sometimes when I answer the phone people still ask me if they can talk to my mom or dad. My daughter's gymnastics teacher thought I was her when he called our house. She was 7 at the time.

5. I went to Australia in May. My husband and my kids didn't go; it was just me and my dad. I loved Australia and I loved having that one on one time with my dad, but I hated being so far from my family for so long. Although, I did read more books over those 10 days than I had in months!

6. I went to Europe in June. Yes, I'm not kidding. I left for that trip 9 days after coming back from Australia. This time the whole family went. It was an amazing experience. We cruised the Mediterranean on The Voyager of the Seas. This was my first time on a cruise and my first time visiting Europe. I highly recommend both.

7. International travel is not typical for me--I swear! Although considering facts 5 and 6, it might not seem that way!

Okay, now who to tag.... I'm supposed to tag 7 people. Do I know 7 people who blog? I don't think so. So I'll go with 3.

• Cindy, because even after all this time, she still remembers me!


• Susan, since I have such fond memories of our ride back to the airport together after Surrey, plus I was thinking about her the other day when I drove past the exit that leads to the town where she grew up.


• And Karenna, since the last time I had to tag someone, I tagged her and she wasn't blogging then, but she's blogging now!

That's the best I can do--but it's better than nothing, right?

Oh, and can I say I hate this new version of blogger's spell check? Talk about not user friendly!